Drag performers aren’t the only ones with epic retorts. An Atlanta gay bar has had its fill with drunks, haters and cheapskates and unloads with a 10-point rant on Facebook. It answers what you’ve always wondered: Do people really do that shit in gay bars?

On Tuesday, LeBuzz in Marietta posted a “Dear Friends” message offering up rules to make the holiday a merry gay time for all the marys stopping by. It starts out simple enough, but then the dish starts flying. If Atlanta’s gay bars can be called “disgusting” heaps of shit, then it’s only fair for them to fire back at “obnoxious” customers and “haters,” right? Right.

Unlike other Gay bars in the Atlanta Metro area, we are in Cobb County. We have been here a long time and plan to stay. There are rules and guidelines that we follow to make sure that we don’t have problems with the authorities. We are not willing to risk our license just because you want to be the exception. During the Holidays these are especially important because of increased checks.

Warming up with a little background. No flame-throwing yet.

1. Please bring your ID and insure your guests bring theirs too. You will NOT be allowed in without it.

Like we said, still winding up with the obvious stuff.

2. If you are under 21 and are not willing to breathalize - take your ass to Chuck E. Cheese or somewhere that will tolerate the drama. Just because your old enough to vote doesn’t mean you get one here!

Ah, here we go. The first mention of “drama!”

3. If you are obnoxious to the entertainers or staff, you will be asked to leave - they don’t come to your work and create a scene.

The bartenders and the performers got bills, so don’t interfere. If you do, the ladies may show up at your office in full drag regali to check you, boo.

4. You don’t have to like the rules, but they have to be followed for us to stay open and be 18 to Party - 21 to Drink. Please don’t throw everything you can find in the toilets or rip down pictures in the club.

You wouldn’t rip down a painting at the High, so don’t try it here, either. No gum in the urinals; no lady pads in the toilets.

5. Everyone comes to have a good time. They are NOT there to watch you fight, argue, or especially have sex. (Well some might be - but it’s still against the rules).

We’re with you right up until the sex. Who doesn’t mind seeing an impromptu sex show while cocktailing? Not us. But if you dare, remember these two words: Eagle raid.

6. If a situation arises and can’t be fixed immediately, please contact me here on facebook and I will do my best to resolve it. I appreciate your friendship and your business.

Do not ask for bail money. They will throw you out, not bail you out. Especially if you don’t tip.

7. If you are one of those “haters” that constantly likes to badmouth my club and all of our efforts please continue to do so. Bad press is often a great advertising tool. Please know that I lay awake nights worrying over your posts.

Or you can detail your hate in an email to us. We’ll listen patiently.

8. It’s a business - we sell drinks. If you are not even willing to buy a soft drink, then maybe you should stay home or go someplace else and not buy anything.

Since you mentioned it, don’t forget to tip when you buy that soda.

9. Please don’t bring your homophobic drunk straight friends and let them think they are at some Marietta Sports Bar. It never ends well. Plus if they get crazy - they have to explain why they look all beat up and got kicked out of a gay bar in the drunk tank.

Homophobic friends? Yes, they should be added to the list of things to ban in gay bars. Misbehaving fag hags, too. Well, you said it.

10. We cater to everyone, please don’t discriminate. Just because it’s not your thing, everyone is welcome!

Yes, yes. There’s diversity Outside the Perimeter, whether your gay ass likes it or not. (And LeBuzz throws a pretty fun OTP Pride festival every summer, too.) Just don’t be rude.